I

I keep trying to tell myself that I’m find and that I am over her by now. This dream shows to me that it’s not quite true. First there are the thoughts that maybe she’ll realize she misses all the time we’ve spent together and want some of that back leading to an actual relationship. When I felt this way I just try to discredit it as nothing. The dream I just had is another story though, I just woke up from this dream and it seemed so real.

Where the dream took place I’m not sure. It could have been what in my mind is supposed to be her co-op regardless I’m up walking down some stairs and stop for a while at this room (maybe a little futher down than her’s) and I see the door is open and get this funny feeling. I ask if they want the door shut (it’s dark I can’t see anything) and I hear Nicole respond “yeah, sure.” Then I start to say something obviously not happy with the situation, Nicole says back, “Well obviously I wasn’t good enough for you” and instantly I feel hurt. I deny it adamantly and try to explain that I still care about her so much. She is visually upset (even though it’s dark) and I give her a big hug. I now realize she’s nearly in tears and grasp her tighter and say that I’ve always cared about her more than I would even show but didn’t feel it was ok to do so because I wasn’t sure how she would react. I never wanted her to feel like I was truly falling for her and ruin everything because of how she might react if she understood that.

All of this could be the compassionate side battling the pessimistic side of me. Trying to convince it once again that all this is really worth fighting for. Not just a summer fling and something that could be very amazing. Should I listen to this as a sign? Should I just dismiss it as a crazy dream? It’s the first dream I’ve remembered in weeks and was very vivid. I would very much like to take it as a sign…

Tags: emotion